I hope you are doing fine and safe during these tough times. It’s really hard to voice out a positive note on this particular pandemic phase where each day, there is an alarmingly rise in C-19 numbers. Every night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive next morning and still we set our alarms to wake us up on time. That is Hope. Hoping that day comes soon where Covid vaccine is out and all of us have a life to look ahead. Until then, be supportive, pleasant and be a helping hand if possible…
During the preliminary lockdown, there was plenty of time to make myself useful, I ended up blogging continuously in April. It was challenging, surprisingly, the outcome was engaging and refreshing which I never expected. Be it reading other works or punching these damn keys on a daily basis or responding to comments and discussing on topics, never thought I’d have an input. I knew I’d a soft corner when it comes down to blogging or reading. Nevertheless, discipline had a way of putting things in place and yet the Japanese mantra of being active was put in full form to practice. (That was then!)
Then came the job where I’d to be physically present that needed me to be enthusiastic, alert, and perform well for eleven continuous hours.. Yet, the job made me realise I’ve a long way to sail to even be ‘good’ practitioner. It’s hard to work in a demoralizing demanding disappointing atmosphere but assessment and exposure is required for changes or growth to happen. Honestly, breaking down takes ‘seconds’ these days for being so silly, irresponsible or for mere mistakes. Now, I’ve to find a cure for sensitivity and emotional turmoil. Initially patience and time is valued but endurance keeps wearing off on a thin line and this pandemic struggle isn’t helping anyone of us out. The numbers keep rising on day to day basis and recoveries are like less in ratio however, there is a positive sign to every disasters. Though there is no room for mistakes (Hmm….) Sometimes the perfection is so far-fetched. Chasing your wishes to be a good one seems to be challenging!!
When anybody walks by you, your eyes automatically gets tuned to the teeth. Worse scenario that can happen was talking to a young fellow in a marriage function and literally working out a plan in my mind to treat his bird faced. Although, I didn’t have the courage to talk to his parents cause of their strange smile, really odd, thought I maybe interested in him? Charting out ways to treat his skeletal form… hmm.. was an occupational hazard then! Today, he is my Facebook friend and I didn’t want to hurt him by pointing out his typical bird face. Lately, my thrill keeps wearing off… whatever I may know has become a doubtful factor. Where has all the inspiration gone right?
From the arrogance, to a confident to a low self-esteem – the ride was a roller coaster! Throughout my life, I don’t know where has it took a U-turn! If it was a love failure, I’d have understood. But, alas, if only I had that arrogance streak and the confidence hat, I’d have stood firmly in my goody two shoes. Today I lack responsibilities and the support to lean (some say) Yet to work out that part…
These days I have nothing but ‘workplace’ in my mind. Ways to improve… but mishaps are like many in hand. Until when I will sustain in this place is quietly worrying me behind…
P.S: Hello Aaron, I didn’t go missing but I have missed out some entries on your Sunday Scribbling
If you’re in mood to bring out the creative juices on this prompt. Feel free to post on your own blog and link and comment on Aaron’s blog post so others can read your post. Do check other entries as well.